just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
