this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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