You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
