Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
