Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
