3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize