it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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