We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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