May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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