woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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