you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
