Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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