like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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