you would pick up someone in the library
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I am available for nakedness
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
