I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
