I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
