dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
