Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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