I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
