I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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