i don't like sucking hair
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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