She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
