Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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