i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
