Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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