I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
