Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
