I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
