I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
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