She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
