3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize