Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We had sex on a dog bed..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
