She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
