You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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