are you so shy because you have an std?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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