dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
