I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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