So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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