The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
