We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
