Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
