come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize