Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
