her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
