So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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