Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
