just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize