the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
how drunk are you?
Several
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize