we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
