I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
