whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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