Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
