if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
