she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
