he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
