I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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