I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
