Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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