SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
