The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
