Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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