ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
