just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
