is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
