If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
