It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
